Chapter 5 – When Trust Breaks Again
Ava tried hard after that night. She tried to trust Daniel’s words. She tried to hold his hand without fear. She tried to silence the old voices in her mind. Some days, she felt stronger. Some days, she felt light inside her chest. But some days, she felt the same old pain touching her heart again. Trust was slow. Trust was fragile. Trust was something she had to learn again and again. Daniel stayed gentle with her. He stayed patient. He stayed kind. But she still felt small at times, like she was fighting two lives at once, the life she had lived before and the life she was trying to build now.
One morning, Ava got a call from the nursery school where she worked. She had missed a few days because of anxiety. They told her softly that they had to let her go. She held the phone in shaking hands. She said, “I understand,” but her voice broke. She sat on the floor and cried. She felt useless. She felt scared. She felt like she had failed her new home, her new life, her new marriage. Daniel came home early and found her in tears. He sat beside her and asked gently, “What happened?” She whispered, “I lost my job.” Daniel held her hand. “I am so sorry,” he said. Ava looked away and whispered, “You should not have married someone like me.”
Daniel felt those words like a cut. He said softly, “Ava, do not say that.” She cried harder. “I cannot even keep a simple job. I cannot control my fear. I cannot stop shaking when I am stressed. How can I be a good wife?” Daniel pulled her close. “You are a good wife. You are trying every day. You love deeply. You care deeply. That is more than enough.” She shook her head against his chest. “I feel weak.” Daniel whispered, “You are not weak. You are hurting. And hurt needs time.”
Ava felt guilt rise inside her. She said, “I am tired of being afraid.” Daniel closed his eyes. “I know. I wish I could take the fear away.” Ava whispered, “Maybe you would be happier without me.” Daniel held her face with both hands. “Do not ever say that again. You are my partner. You are my family. I am not leaving.” Her heart softened, but the sadness stayed. She felt she was becoming a burden. She felt like she was damaging the peace in his life. She felt lost.
In the next days, Ava moved quietly around the house. She spoke little. She ate little. Daniel tried to pull her back into warmth. He made tea for her. He told her small stories. He sat beside her during the quiet nights. But she looked down often. She whispered, “I am sorry,” even when she did nothing wrong. One evening, Daniel touched her hand and said, “Ava, look at me.” She lifted her eyes slowly. Daniel said, “We are a team. You do not carry this alone.” She whispered, “I want to be better.” He nodded. “You will. But not in one day.”
But pain does not always wait. One evening, Ava found an old note from her father inside a box her mother had sent. The note said, “I could not stay. I failed you.” Ava felt her breath break. She felt ten years old again. She read the line over and over. “I failed you.” She whispered, “Maybe I make people tired.” She sat on the bed with the note in her hand. Daniel came in and saw her face. “What happened?” he asked. She handed him the note. He read it slowly. His eyes softened. He sat beside her and said, “Ava, his failure was not yours.” She whispered, “But he left.” Daniel held her hand tightly. “I am not leaving.”
Ava looked at him with tired eyes. “Why do I still feel like I will lose you?” Daniel’s voice broke a little. “Because your heart was hurt too young. Because you learned fear before you learned safety. And it is not your fault.” Ava felt a tear fall. He wiped it gently. “You are not broken,” he said. “You are healing.” She whispered, “I am scared.” He whispered, “Then let me be here with you while you feel scared.” Ava leaned into him. His arms around her felt like shelter. She whispered, “Thank you for staying.” He held her closer. “Always.”
Still, the note from her father stayed in her mind. It made her question her worth. It made her feel small again. She walked around the house with heavy steps. She stared at her hands and wondered why trust came so slowly to her. She sat beside Daniel and said softly, “I want to love without fear.” He touched her hand. “You will. Fear fades when it feels safe enough.” She whispered, “Am I safe?” Daniel looked into her eyes. “With me, yes.”
Ava felt something shift inside her that night. Something soft. Something real. She saw the way Daniel held her even when she was at her weakest. She saw how he spoke gently even when she cried. She saw how he believed in her even when she doubted herself. And she whispered, “Maybe I am not my past.” Daniel smiled. “You are not.”
She rested her head on his shoulder. Her voice shook as she said, “Thank you for choosing me.” Daniel kissed her forehead. “I choose you every day.” Ava closed her eyes. For a moment, fear stepped back. For a moment, she felt peace touch her. For a moment, she felt strong.
She did not know what tomorrow would bring. She did not know what memories would rise again. But she knew one truth now. She was loved. She was safe. She was not alone.
